A · Tale · of · Two · Settees

Today, I am so Michael Jackson with Michael Jackson, that I don't think that even Michael Jackson could be more Michael Jackson with himself--not even if he had a Michael Jackson that could Michael Jackson a Michael Jackson.

That's how Michael Jackson I am feeling today.

Nevertheless, a blessing is in order. So, everyone bow your heads, raise your right hand, cover your other eyes with your left hand, kneel on your right knee, while extending the left leg forward in as close to a 90 degree angle as possible, and... in short, please assume the appropriate position for a most blesséd blessing from this, the Most High Book of Blessedly Blessed Blesséd Blessings:

Bless you, oh most blessed, blesséd person who is being blessed by this most blesséd blessing. And bless too the most blesséd blessor who blesses others with this most blesséd blessing on this most high and blessed blesséd day, which is all the more blessed because it is a day upon which the most blessed blesséd blessing is being offered. Bless, too, the most blessed blesséd blessing, which is already most blessedly blessed, but could always do with another blessing. Bless, also, the writer of the most blessedly blessed blessing, who is all the more blesséd for blessing others with his most blessedly blessed blesséd blessing. Bless, in addition, all those whose ears can hear the most blessedly blessed blessing, as well as those who can read the most blessedly blessed blessing. And, should the person be either deaf, blind, or mute, may their most blessedly blessed afflictions be blessed anyway. And, bless them as well, for they are blessed. May those who are most blessedly blessed by this, the most blessedly blessed blesséd blessing, be henceforth blessedly inspired to most blessedly bless others with this blessing, so that this day forth everyone who is most blessedly blessed and blessedly blessing, may most blessedly bless all who inhabit the most blessedly blessed Earth. Bless the animals and the plants and most blessedly blessed single cell creatures, as well as the most blessedly blessed amino acids from which our most blessedly blessed selves originated. And should space travel some day be more practicable, may all the space creatures and other forms of life within this universe--and possibly others--also be most blessedly blessed by the most blesséd blessors of Earth. Oh, bless you, too, for having most blessedly read this most blessedly blessed blesséd blessing of all blessedly blessed blesséd blessings. AMEN

I'm not an enthusiastic watcher of Techno music videos, but this Daft Punk video of two years past, pretty much represents my universal philosophy.

Click here, for embedding has been disabled

The city of Jeddah soon may be the site of the next "world's tallest building," according to the Daily Mail.

( Click )

There is a period of time between a technology's introduction and its comprehension by those who control it. Take, for instance, the introduction of the rifle. During the United States Civil War, weaponry advanced tenfold while the science of medicine lagged dismally behind. Then came World Wars I and II when we got really good at shooting people and healing them and then shooting them all over again. But between the Civil War and today...

Wait... where am I going with that analogy?

Okay. Scratch that. ( Here we go... )

Poll #1416229
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Do erotic blow-up dolls make ideal pool flotation devices?

(Keep in mind, while voting, that blow-up dolls do have the convenience of coming equipped with their own cup holders)

An ancient 1986 CNN Crossfire episode is unique for a number of reasons:

1. Frank Zappa

2. Rather sedate background

3. People aren't shouting over each other as much as today's public debates. And, you see that people on left and right can and are able to find some neutral common ground.

But, gushy nostalgia aside, this particular discussion of censorship is rather fun because, among the things that are brought up are "words" (a bit of semiotics meets Sesame Street) and a rather chilling reminder of how far to the right America's center has become. Here, Zappa addresses the way in which a Reagan administration is charging the way towards implementing a Fascist theocracy. And today, well... the problem hasn't left us. If anything, it continues to be exacerbated.

But okay. Whatever. Video:

It was pointed out to me by my mate as we were watching The Day the Earth Stood Still remake featuring Keanau Reeves that nearly every disaster movie made in Hollywood features the Americans as the heroes. Then again, UK disaster films generally feature Britons as the heroes (28 Days Later comes to mind).

I wonder if this is true of other countries and their film industries. What if India, for instance, was to make it's own equivalent of Independence Day? First of all, there'd be a lot of lavish dance numbers, which would be kind of fun, actually. I'd pay real money to see a dance-off with an extra-terrestrial species.

Then again, speaking only of English-speaking countries, I don't know of any mainstream Australian or South African movies, for instance, where the earth is in danger of complete annihilation because a comet is on a collision course with the planet, and it's up to a plucky team of seasoned South African diamond miners to rig explosives in the comet's core, because Up Johannesburg, yeah?

No, no. It's always, "Mr. President! This is urgent!!!" and then a venerable Mr. (or sometimes Madam) President steps up to the plate, gives a rousing speech, the Yankee equivalent of "Once more unto the breech," and all the globe is united in solidarity, and it's the Red, White, and Blue leading the charge, Chinooks, Warthogs, B-1 Bombers and all...

It's all grand and wonderful that, as far as Hollywood is concerned, we're our own heroes, but it does suggest something inappropriately grandiose about our national psyche. This general sense of optimism that we're some sort of global messiah is nice, but then again an overly optimistic self-image can be damaging, leading to delusions of grandeur. Perhaps it would be better to let others be the heroes every once and a while and to begin telling ourselves these stories in order to convince ourselves of this possibility. And, of course, to acknowledge that others can be and are heroic. Will, for instance, a Palestinian-Israeli peace settlement be achieved because of, in spite of, or regardless of U.S. involvement? Will the world endure with or without Cairo Speeches?

I must, of course, at once emphasize the importance of Dino Buzzati's The Tartar Steppe. Whereas The Stranger's Meursault acts, Giovanni Drogo retracts.

An entire novel about waiting for nothing. Absolutely brilliant stuff. I read it two years ago, but I still return to it.

Today, we have officially switched from analog to digital television. Nothing special, really, except that all the old folks who are nursed to sleep by the old box will be feeling a little lonely and perhaps a little betrayed as well for want of knowledge of how to set up the digital converter.

We get more channels though! Hooray for that. Ah, but not good enough. Not for me. I'd like all those brand new channels we received to amount to something and to be put to good use. Better use. More specifically, I'd like to be able to see TV from around the world. More, more specifically, I'd like access to Limmy's Show.



Pretty funny stuff if I do say so myself. That touch of magical realism is what always gets me. It's what I crave, ever since as a tot I watched Time Bandits and everything changed and likewise made better sense. Ah, Terry Gilliam and the Monty Python crew. Good people they are.

At least for now there's Youtube. Sometimes I think it's better than TV. Wantest I not a giant flatscreen television set; wantest I a gigantic flatscreen computer with television capabilities thrown into the works.

For thine is the kingdom, the glory, and the power, et cetera, et cetera. Amen.

(1)

My laptop will soon need replacement. Unfortunately, the way one upgrades an Apple computer isn't by popping it open and inserting a new component. You've got to buy a whole new computer. I may soon do this. I'm nearly tempted to get a PC, but I enjoy the seamlessness of Apple components and I'm hesitant to change. As my credit card finally gets paid off--the very credit card I opened so that I'd be able to purchase an Apple laptop--it pains me to have to think of having to once again dig another hole of debt. This time, though, I'll be smart and pay for the whole thing straight away. I've been considering waiting until December, but I my act more quickly and just wait for confirmation of my teaching appointments.

(2)

Meanwhile, I continue to grow disenchanted with Facebook. Soon I may just consider canceling my service entirely. What's the use of it anyway? I have no interest in rekindling bonds with people I no longer hang out with, I resent the personalities and politics of at least two or three members, and the whole thing really just encourages me to waste my time--not that Livejournal doesn't cause similar disruptions. But the thing is there may be two or three people on Facebook that I actually look forward to hearing from, and who also thoroughly interest me. Otherwise... it's just another Myspace.

(3)

Finally, after hearing about how some of the Guantanamo Bay detainees are finally being released, potentially to the Pacific nation of Palau, I did some research on the country. Just a 32-hour flight away from Los Angeles, the delights that await the weary visitor are simple and few. But those few things the nation has should suffice.

Robert Lewis Stevenson had Somoa; I shall have Palau.

Oh, the Japan-Palau Friendship Bridge... oh the Rock Islands... oh the enchanting, always enchanting Babeldaob.

Giant clams, a feast of fish, the lazy rays, and always the jelly-ellyfish.

I see my glorious sunset there, knowing no enemies, knowing no fear. Understanding everyone, comprehending all.

It's only $2700 away... round trip.

But who'd ever care to return?

I fear the looming doom of a flawed and flawless generation. Its bier shall be upon the spoiled spoils from a war declared against itself. I’ll come a-courting, so be sure to give flowers to the fresh young widows. Ring me merrily the bells. We shall have our fun for a funeral.

*****

Ah!!!! Tenterhooks!!!

June is the month that delivers all the answers to the questions pertinent to my survival. Oh, and how I'll sleep tonight! Oh... and how'll I sleep tonight?

I don't know.

Will Riverside favor me? Will Cerritos still be a-hiring in the fall?

Oh, and whenohwhenohwhenohwhen will I finish that PhD?

All these and more are perfectly reasonable questions that perfectly reasonable people are asking me in perfectly pleasant ways and I want to perfectly rearrange their faces and perfectly murder them each time the questions are put to me.

An ancient video of a Belle and Sebastian concert recorded during the dark ages of 2001 in the barbaric land of Rio.

I love the bit right around 1:25 where Stuart Murdoch tosses the mic in the air and ducks as it comes flying down towards his head.

He's a fair dancer, too... at least about as fair a dancer as I am.

Basically, you punch in a word, like "ice cream" and the generator spits out something that is the complete opposite such as "hamburger." Or if you type, "environmental conservation" it gives you "waste" instead. In essence, it'd be the antonym machine.

So, if you type in "Sotomayo"--a Puerto Rican justice once nominated by Republican President George H Bush, and who generally is regarded as something of a moderate and sometimes even conservative justice--what do you get?

RACIST.

Brilliant machine, the Limbaugh is.

They say he's a Borg, you know. He's got a cochlear ear implant. He says it's to help him hear, since he's almost totally deaf. But I know the truth. That implant is how he receives instructions from the Borg Queen.

Proposition 8's success, while upsetting, was hardly unpredictable. California has got problems, and Proposition 8 is simply one of its symptoms. The most recent budget election last week is yet another symptom. One of these days, this state is going to have to do a thorough cleaning. A brand new constitution would be nice. But... for now, I'd settle for the removal of the 2/3 majority the legislature needs to pass budgets. Oh, and a change to the gerrymandered districts to reflect the state's Democratic majority would be nice, too. Ultimately, neither the state congress nor gerrymandering caused the success of Proposition 8.

Oh, but for now I am simply tired. Not hopeless, though. I'm happy to see the movement has become more galvanized. More and more people I talk to are supportive of marriage equality. Meanwhile, there is the Uniting American Families Act hearing in the Congress on June 3, and the lawsuit against DOMA around June 29. These give me hope, too. Before, I thought we'd have to give straight people an incentive for supporting gay marriage in light of other crises. Today, I think most gay allies are simply embarrassed that they must be associated with backward thinking.

For me all this frustration, fatigue, and great expense of energy stems from a desire to be able to settle down with my mate, knowing that when the day is over he'll be beside me in bed. This lengthy, roundabout attempt towards citizenship wouldn't be necessary if DOMA didn't exist and California hadn't denied marriage equality. Politically speaking, I may kvetch and moan a lot, but practically speaking, I want to be left alone. This struggle ultimately represents a desire towards those ends.

Sigh... I had a friend tell me we'll get there eventually. Sure, I believe that, but were California a restaurant and the host said I'd be seated eventually, I'd either leave and eat somewhere else or ask to see the manager. But where would I go and who's the manager of California?

Today, I have finished grading and posting the grades for three of the five classes I teach this spring. Tomorrow, I teach at UC Riverside, but for the most part, that job's a lark. Air-conditioned office. Evening classes. Relatively intelligent students. Relatively intelligent conversation. Decent pay. This is what teaching is supposed to be about.

So, tra-la, starting tomorrow, I am more or less on something resembling a vacation.

Huzzah!

This calls for a Russian Dance.

I was just thinking about that idea a second ago, while also noting, how as a society we Americans have grown disproportionately paranoid even as the numbers of security--both public and private--continue to grow exponentially.

Others may have thought of this statement before ("If you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to fear"), but tonight marks the night when the concept first dawned on me.

You see, the problem with this reasoning is this:

If I were to tell you that I am a male, then already you know what is beneath all my clothes. Though my clothes may conceal my skin, and my skin may cover my internal organs and bones and viscera, neither skin nor clothes hide anything. The pleasure that is derived from the striptease, for instance, is not from the fact that we do not know what lies beneath the stripper's clothes, but rather, that we do know, and the revelation is slowly, painstakingly revealed to us bit by bit. If it were to be revealed that the stripper were an octopus, this would no longer be erotic, but rather quite frightening.

Very well, then. From what we have gathered, a stripper hides nothing. What, then, does it mean to hide something?

To hide something--to truly hide something--is to make that thing completely disappear. No one should be aware that the thing which is hidden even exists. Even the one who has hidden that thing must not be aware, else for that person that hidden thing is not really hidden, and then it becomes a thing that can be exposed. A thing which can be exposed, such as the anatomy of a person's body, is not truly hidden, since the thing which is exposed is in some way anticipated. Even a sealed pharaoh's tomb--if we do conclude that it is in fact a sealed pharaoh's tomb--though concealed, is not completely hidden since we have certain expectations of what might be found in an ancient Egyptian tomb.

The problem, then, becomes the issue of anticipation, and as such, we must then concern ourselves with how it is that we come to anticipate, for this has its own set of problems that need to be resolved.

For the present, however, it would appear that it is the person who has nothing to hide has the most to fear from those who wish or demand to see. Of course, the person who has nothing to hide also has nothing to show, making such a search seem quite silly. A person who is suspected of having a concealed weapon, when searched, thus, is also someone who has nothing to hide, since that which is hidden is also expected to be found. On the other hand, if a person is suspected of carrying a weapon, but is found to carry none, then that person has actually succeeded in hiding something, which in this case is nothing. That is, the person is hiding the nonexistence of a gun from the police officer. But then again, the person who is hiding the nonexistent gun knows the nonexistent gun does not exist (and probably has even told the searching officer as much), and therefore cannot really conceal its nonexistence to him/herself. Thus, nothing is in fact hidden.

In this way, both something (the anticipated gun which isn't there) and nothing (the non-existed gun) are hidden at the same time, but only because the gun does not exist.

And now, it is 2:00 and I am very tired, and probably don't make much sense.

One wonders whether Obama ever intended to honor his campaign promises. Case in point: the repeal of Dont' Ask Don't Tell.